March Madness: Peru Nordic’s Best of 2013 Playoff Bracket!

The 2013 has been such a great season that, in the spirit of March Madness, we have taken the top 16 performances and placed them into an NCAA-Tourney Style bracket.  It is up to you, the great fans of the Evil Empire, to decide which moment was best!  Vote for your favorites from round one:


STAN! Enter Stan-Man!

1) Hatch Closes Out the Mega Relay  vs. 16) Tyra’s Great Great Sacandaga.  Stan Hatch executed some serious heroics and lifted Peru Nordic to the Mega Relay Men’s Championship.  Stretching his doubles into triples allowed the Evil Empire to win by half a lap!  Tyra followed in her father’s footsteps by totally dominating the Great Sacandaga Mini Marathon.

“Suck it you HURT MotherF#$#rs” (or something similar)

2) Wynn Salutes Relay Champs Crowd vs. 15) Zullo’s ESG Sweep.  Mike Wynn anchored the NYSSRA Championship Relay Team and beat up on HURT’s Three Headed Monster. To add insult to injury, Wynn crossed the finish line in victory and insulted the heavily-biased HURT crowd by shouting something to the effect of “Suck it you 100 HURT motherfu$*^ers” or something like that.  Amanda Zullo swept the gold at every event in the NYSSRA Tournado.  She blistered the prologue, thrashed the 20 k classic and slashed the 7.5 freestyle.  Four gold medals in all including a TourNADO overall win.

The Chili Champ

3) Bryce’s Chili Race vs. 14) Rose’s Superbowl of Skiing.  Bryce Hartman gave notice that he will be a future stud when he beat all of the VHCS “A” Flight skiers in the Paul Smith’s Chili Race.  Chris Rose won back the Foam Finger by skiing strong, but also by accurately picking the Ravens in the Superbowl “…thank you Colin Cowherd.”

FAT Tuesday… none more PHAT!

4) Greenberg’s Fat Tuesday vs. 13) Stan’s NYSSRA Champs.  Greenberg ate and ate and ate and ate while his competitors skied, yet his calorie consumption allowed him to easily win the day.  No one can touch Greenberg in this race, not even repealing the Kogut Egg Nogg Rule will unseat the Fat Tuesday King!  Stan started in the second wave of the NYSSRA Champs and blew it out of the water.  As Stan crossed the line, first wave skiers checked their watches knowing that Stan started 4 minutes behind and closed the gap.  Stan finished 8th overall in spite of having to ski through the field.

Sprinting to Victory!

5) Kobak’s Loppet Sprint vs. 12) Kogut’s Negative Deathskinada.  Kobak came into the final 200 meters of the Loppet in a dead heat with 2 other skiers.  At the line, his bib lean in was decisive, enabling him to win the M3 Gold Medal by a scant 0.12 seconds.  Kogut showed up in the -5 cold in full race wool.  His SWIX Polar gave superior grip and he pulled the DEATH Tarot Card to capture the Deathskinada Death’s Head Ugly Trophy.

Wynn Wins! CF is Crumbled!

6). Wynn’s Cookie Clash Blowout vs. 11) Kogut’s Beerserkerbeiner.  Mike Wynn won the Peru National Championship with a convincing win on the Dewey Course.  No one ever puts in that kind of time during the Tuesday Night races on that course, but Wynn did.  Kogut’s double-bag rucksack enabled him to dance through the debris field of strewn cans to easily win the Beerserkerbeiner.

Janet at the NYSSRA Champs! The BanSHEE of Bedlam!

7) Findlay’s NYSSRA Championship vs. 10) Stan’s Loppet/Pine Nut survival.  Janet Findlay showed up “Just because she knew the team needed her.” and she dominated!! Janet won her second NYSSRA Championship, her first one in 10 years.  And, she did it in convincing fashion, beating girls half her age.  Stan paced himself well during the 50 k loppet classic.  Managing to outlast some of NYSSRA’s elite, like Seyse and Yarsevich.  Then, as if 50 km wasn’t enough suffering for one day, he survived a pine nut allergy attack at the banquet!

Gauntlet Champs!

8) Kogut/Greenberg’s Gauntlet Win vs. 9) Zullo’s syrup double.  Kogut and Greenberg managed to hold off some late attacks and win the annual Gauntlet Relay.  Amanda Zullo managed to finish in the syrup both days of the Harry Eldridge weekend in spite of some stiff competition.

Print out your own Bracket and play along at home!



One thought on “March Madness: Peru Nordic’s Best of 2013 Playoff Bracket!”

  1. I said, “screw-u, hurt and your 27 guys!” Pretty weak content, I know, but it was what came out at the moment. Despite always striving to uphold my reputation as NYSSRA’s biggest a##hole, it wasn’t nearly as graphic as the quote portrayed. I’ll try to do better next time! Still, it must be worth a vote or 2, other than my own…

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