RAGNAROK is Nigh, the GOAT Demands Tribute!

hail the GOAT!

I visited the GOAT this afternoon and she spoke to me:

“Those who pay tribute to me on RAGNAROK will be smiled upon.”

Then, she gave me a list of desired items… and the time bonuses she would bestow to racers carrying these items on RAGNAROK…

A copy of Metallica’s Master of Puppets (2 minutes)

A Coffee from Starbucks (2 minutes)

A tin of SWIX Polar Wax (1 minute)

A Franziskaner (5 minutes)

A Cookie Classic Race Flyer (1 minute)

A granola bar from a past year’s LP Loppet (2 minutes)

A NYSSRA Nordic Ski Tie (1 minute)

A reciept from High Peaks Cyclery, Your Nordic Specialists (2 minutes)

Skadi Boot Buddies (2 minutes)

A piece of New York Jets Paraphernalia (1 minute)

Kerry King’s Spiked Wristband (3 minutes)

Juha Mieto’s Beard (4 minutes)

She also said, “If you are wearing a preffered costume, I will also bestow bonus time in your name”

A preferred costume being: Wearing something with a Peru Nordic Apple Logo, a Heavy Metal Band Logo, A NY Jets Logo, A Team Cookie Logo and/or a High Peaks Cyclery logo (20 bonus seconds for each).

Finally she said, “If you do some trail maintenance en route, I will also bestow bonus time.  10 seconds for each stick you pick up and bring to me, 10 seconds for each pine/spruce/fir cone you bring to me, 10 seconds for every klister-sticking Beech Leaf you collect and bring to me, 10 seconds for any base-gouging rock you find and bring to me, 20 seconds for a handful of snowfleas, and 30 seconds for any non-human scat you deliver to me on RAGNAROK!”

Skiers will meet at Gauntlet Stadium for RAGNAROK at 4 pm on Wednesday.  Any tribute to the GOAT must be carried throughout the race.  Skiers will also guess the winning time on the day prior to the start, the difference between your guess and the actual winning time will be added to your time.  The skier with the lowest time after paying tribute to the GOAT will be in control of Mjollnir, Hammer of the Gods!

 

HAMMER OF THE GODS!
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