A Blood Soaked and Bullet Riddled Field at MVH St. Valentine’s Massacre

Skiers race out of the USTBBA Certified Range at Gauntlet Stadium!

Hot lead was flying as the Peru Nordic Masters took part in the annual St. Valentine’s Day Massacre Cutthroat Biathlon Race.  Skiers battled over three laps, stopping to shoot tennis balls at the USTBBA certified range at Gauntlet Stadium between laps.

Jim Kobak outsprinted Chris Rose to capture the fastest time, but faltered in the range, hitting only one out of four targets.  Rose, uncharacteristically inaccurate, only hit half of his targets.   The pair battled over the course, exchanging leads before Kobak attacked on the final climb.  “My skis were faster, but there was no way I could make up for my poor shooting in the range.”

Luckily for Kobak, some dead-eye shooting by Bob Maswick enabled him to take the overall victory.  Maswick, racing on Kobak’s skis, was slow on the course, but sniper-accurate in the range, hitting all four shots.  He turned around and used  his bullets to riddle the carcass of Chris Rose.  This assault on the Viking Helmet leader was most likely a rage-filled vendetta against the one man who would willingly turn on him in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

Maswick’s bullets were also aimed at Keith Kogut.  Kogut, who in true Peru Nordic manner, raced two races on Sunday, then raced last night and won at Dewey Mt., then raced today, and will race back to back 50 km races this weekend at Gatineau, had worn himself to a nub.  Maswick, sensing weakness, opened fire on Kogut, shredding him with bullets…. and knocking him back in the standings.

When the smoke cleared, the body count revealed Kobak on top, followed by Rose, then Kogut.   Newcomer Bryce just out skied Bob “Scarface” Maswick…  “say hello to my little friend!”

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