Wisdom of KONG: “Blood is thicker than water, but not thicker than Gu”
The Beast Crew was met by legions of bloodthirsty vampiric black flies on Poko!
Jay Fiegl paced the sanguineous field up Poke-o-Moonshine Mountain during the BEAST finale. Jay plateleted up in the hot and buggy conditions in 20:41. Fiegl then tried his best to impress the judges after the race, with some spectacular dives into the mud during the descent.
Jim Kobak was second, finishing in 21:03. He hemoglobined the pace early before coagulating near the summit.
Behind Kobak was Jerry Ross. Ross had just flew in from Belize for the event, where he had acclimatized to the heat and the bugs. “You should have seen the bloodsuckers in Belize, these blackflies are minor-league!” Ross proceded to agglutinate up the steep rocky pitch of Poko. Ross reeled in Tom Moffett, who started out corpuscular but hemorrhaged on the upper flanks of the mountain.
Marcie Kobak led the sister crew, finishing ahead of Katie Moffett. Marcie had phlebotimized in the High Peaks earlier in the day before meeting the BEAST for the spurt up Poko. Moffett sanguisuged to the summit before embolising in a cloud of black flies.
The judges were impressed by many performances, but all competitors who bravely confronted the black fly assault scored high points. Marcie Kobak got props for putting in an intense mountain double session. Jerry Ross got points for surviving a self-induced DEET overdose. Fiegl’s mud-diving escapade may have cost him, “we award points for badassatude, not for clumsiness,” exclaimed one of the judges.
The BEAST is complete. Now all you have to do is finish the PATCH SPRINT…. This Saturday!!!