The Wisdom of KONG: “To uncoil sweet victory, one must endure the deadly venom of descent”
The regulars of the BEAST were joined today by the Snakeview Serpent Cult who traveled many miles to make their pilgrimage to Rattlesnake Mt. This intimidating group carried the carcasses of their beloved snakes as they were tempted by the allure of the forbidden fruits of Bare and Rattlesnake Mountains.
The snake-worshipers out-bad-assed current KONG-carrier, Jason Fiegl, in spite of his Easy Rider arrival. The judges were unsure whether arriving on the motorcycle was bad-ass when one would be driving home afterwards soaked in sweat in 40 degree temperatures. Luckily for Fiegl the high probability that the bike would actually have to be pushed most of the way home reduced the chances of entering the deepest state of hypothermia.
Fiegl used his downhill prowess to break out to a sizeable lead down Bare Mt. However, Jim Kobak rallied, sporting his Peru Nordic tights version 1.0, and began to reel Fiegl in on the ascent of Rattlesnake. Despite the effort, Fiegl held off Kobak, keeping his time just under 30 minutes. This was figured to be at least 2-3 minutes slower while traversing the new section of trail. This means that top Patch Sprint contenders should be about 5 minutes slower over the newly re-routed course.
Tom Moffett hung in for third, ahead of Jerry Ross, but the star of the day was Andrew “the anaconda” Gonzalez. Gonzalez, slithered his way to the summit with snake in mouth. And then with an un-hinging of his jaw, a flick of his forked-tongue, and with an evil hiss, he spat the snake onto the summit.
Alec “death Adder” Gonzalez and Pam “the Viper” Gonzalez and the rest of the snake clan sidewinded up to the summit to bask on the rocks and worship at the altar of Rattlesnake!
With his reptilian effort, Gonzalez wowed the judges and was awarded KONG!
Next week, the racers hit the road as they race from beaver brook road to the top of Schoolhouse Hill!