The DOOM! Series came to a thrilling conclusion today on the slopes of Pokomoonshine Mountain. At the end of the day, Jerry “Boss of Brutality” Ross put together a vehemently intimidating display of dominance and squeaked out the DOOM! Series overall title, earning the coveted “Crown of Skulls.”
The fastest time up Poko was posted by Jim Kobak, who, in hawk-like fashion, flew up to the summit in 19:05. Cole Starkey was eliminated from contention after he missed the start and took a roundabout route to the Poko summit.
This put Kobak into position to win the Crown of Skulls, assuming that Tom Moffett could hold off Jerry Ross’ massive assault. Ross was able to fend off Moffett. By doing so, he bared his teeth in a menacing snarl, and took on a nasty disposition. The intensity of his glare as he hammered up the rocky trail seemed to have the overall title locked up, until Kate Moffett turned up the intimidation factor by sporting a skull-laden bandana.
Strong efforts were also put in by Skip, Marque and Luke Mo, and the Mitten of Might. All of these impressive displays of vehemence, domination and intimidation made the final too close to call. The DOOM! committee had to meet and crank up the VHCS supercomputer to eleven in order to get the final results in order.
When the dust settled, Ross had out pointed Katie Moffett by a scant 0.01 Doom Index units, the closest finish in DOOM! history!
DOOM! series competitors are now looking forward to the Patchpocalypse… Patch Sprint 2010 is only 10 days away!