Gratuitous Gastronomical Gluttony Garnishes FAT TUESDAY

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Members of the Peru Nordic Masters faced off in the FAT TUESDAY race on Mardi Gras.  The race consisted of two 4 km laps of the infamous MitcHELLbeiner Skistadion race course.  In between laps, skiers had to stop and feast on only the finest of snack foods.  When the skiers finished the race, they were allowed to deduct the number of calories (in seconds) that they consumed from their total time. 

7 minutes 40 seconds!
7 minutes 40 seconds!

Chris Rose, always a strategist, thought it would be to his tactical advantage to cram down one extra twinkie between laps.  This risky gambit paid off, giving Rose just enough to hold off Jim Kobak for the win.  Kobak, originally planning to consume a whopping 460 calorie apple pie, made the descision to keep it “light” and fast by eating only one Twinkie.  This enabled Kobak to ski the fastest time, but wasn’t enough to win.  In fact, Kobak almost dropped into third after Steve Bailey revealed he ate a belt-loosening 850 calories in between laps.  Jon Santor finishing 4th, was slowed down, not by the snow conditions, but rather by the fact that his Snickers bar was frozen solid.  Jayce Ashline, with two solid laps, disappointed the crowd by eschewing the sugary crap, and eating a nutritious Clif Bar instead.  Charlie MitcHELL boycotted the whole event, citing “…it is not fair, when they start making gluten-free Ho-Hos, then I can do this race…”

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FAT TUESDAY RESULTS:

name time calories bonus total
rose 0:26:32 300 00:05:00 0:21:32
kobak 0:25:45 150 00:02:30 0:23:15
bailey 00:37:58 850 00:14:10 0:23:48
santor 0:31:12 260 00:04:20 0:26:52
Ashline 0:39:23 240 00:04:00 0:35:23
Jennings 0:38:03 150 00:02:30 0:35:33
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