Blockbuster Diehl Rumored!

Diehl... Changing Direction????
Diehl... Changing Direction????

 

From the Rumor Mill: ESPN Sportscenter reports that in what has become a blockbuster move, Doug “Dealer of Devastation”Diehl has committed his services to Peru Nordic’s Arch-nemesis rival,Team NJS.  This move immediately gives the fledgling Team NJS credibility as an organization, as they acquire a proven veteran who still puts in great results race after race.   Peru Nordic director of player personnel, Bob Maswick, puts the deal in perspective, “Doug announced he would switch his affiliation to a start-up group, www.adirondacknordic.com, at the start of the season, if we didn’t meet some new contractual demands concerning grooming equipment.  Turns out that Doug was looking for assistance with trail grooming, not personal grooming, and our manscaping resources were all tapped out.  This required a re-structuring of his contract, we did not want him to have to clear waivers with the indignity of sending him down to the minors.  Because he does not have a two-way contract, this made him technically a free agent under NYSSRA bylaws section 3.1419-g-b-t-a.  Of course, wouldn’t you know it, in unrestricted free agent status, he goes ahead and puts up spectacular results in the Green Mansions and Glens Fallsraces which got our rival scouts buzzing. So in a nutshell, Team NJS just hit the free agent jackpot! And we didn’t get as much as one tube of yellow klister out of the deal!”

 

Devils Gomez = Freakin Awesome!!!!!
Devils' Gomez = Freakin' Awesome!!!!!

Peru Nordic Club Chief Executive Officer, Jim Kobak likens the move to one made by pro hockey player, Scott Gomez,“like Gomez leaving my beloved NJ Devils for hated rivals the NY Rangers, Diehl was a superstar veteran, and now he has been drawn to the bright lights of the big city (as well as to the not-so-bright lights of Crandall Park).”

Rangers Gomez = SUCKS!
Rangers' Gomez = SUCKS!

 

Peru’s player/coach, Chris Rose, is worried about how the move will affect the rest of the team, “with this kind of blockbuster deal, will we soon lose our prize development prospects? Will we have our up and coming Glens Falls area stars like David Kvam, or even our top veterans like Mike Wynnjump ship?  We can’t afford to lose all of that talent and grind/wax expertise to those gosh darn Team NJS Big City turkeys!?!?!??”

 

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Superstar Racer and Ski-Prep Guru Mike Wynn... Is he next?
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One thought on “Blockbuster Diehl Rumored!”

  1. Peru Nordic director of player personnel Bob Maswick reported later on private conversations with Diehl…”NJS offered my my own personal wax technician, who’ll help me sort out why Wynn crushes me all the time.

    Maswick shared Peru Nordic’s waxing mantra with Diehl – “F this, F that, F-31 Violent!” Diehl was not impressed, saying that his Toko HF Red skis seemed faster during warmups.

    -OD

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